Some of the biggest buzzwords going around with anything spiritual or tarot related right now are unfortunately soulmate, twin flame and karmic partner. I'll be honest, when I first dived into tarot and readings, I too, fell hard into the twin flame hole.
Granted, I was fresh out of a breakup with the guy I thought I could see myself being with for the rest of my life, but every pick a card video resonated with me because I was getting the validation of knowing we were meant to be and that the universe was just holding us back from each other and we're just not ready for union yet and we have to grow and unfortunately that means growing up separately and...
And two years later, I am here single. He is now blocked, and I have finally come to terms with the fact that the twin flame narrative is interesting- but a slippery slope and not one that people in emotional trauma bonds, freshly single and nursing hurt hearts should be entertaining. Plus, it also shouldn't be the big catalyst for why you should turn to spirituality. I'll get all into that, but first- a little basic explanation.
The connections we make with others in our life are significant because a lot of them spark growth in us. They also expose us to feelings and truths we probably wouldn't have found any other way other than being involved with those people that triggered it. Now, how important those connections are really falls into what type of impact a person leaves on you, as well as the legacy they leave behind. A lot of people tend to think romantic connection to someone, a ton of love present, lots of history? Must be a soulmate!
Not quite. A soulmate is a connection that is fated to be in your lifetime where you share a very special bond with them. Note that I don't say romantic, but instead special. We're not meant to have just only one romantic partner in our lives (although if that's your case, congrats! You got lucky and I am insanely jealous that you never had to download Tinder once). Also, romantic love is not the only type of love you will encounter and experience in this lifetime.
So, that means a soulmate can be found in your siblings, coworkers, close friends, etc. The point is, you can have more than one soulmate and these soulmates are all meant to just accompany you on your current life path. They bring joy, comfort and warmth to your life, and are just fulfilling to your soul. That being said, they are not necessarily destined to be here for your whole life- some people will have an expiration date. It is also possible to drive a soulmate away too, if you out here being a horrible person! But the connection still stands between y'all.
A lot of different cultures also believe soulmates transcend time; In Hindu culture, the concept is called lehnu. Basically, it is believed that a karmic connection links souls together so that they keep crossing paths to positively impact each other. For Buddhists, the term pratitya-samutpada indicates that all beings are interrelated, meaning no matter how many times an individual reincarnates, everyone in their life they already know and already have a connection to them.
Karmic Connections
A soulmate isn't the only type of fated connection, however. Karmic partners tend to be more romantic in nature. This bond is best explained as a highly emotional roller coaster of a relationship where it is difficult to end the bond between the two partners. Your classic "we just keep coming back to each other," or the relationship that is just highly toxic is a perfect example of a karmic relationship. The karmic part simply states that this relationship is not meant to last nor is it meant to be the one, simply because this person is not meant to be more than a lesson to you.
Now, as to why this relationship is your 'karma' is up for personal interpretation. Maybe it truly is karma from a previous relationship- or a previous lifetime debt you're paying off. Or, it could just be that this is one of the life lessons you're meant to experience. Whatever the reason is, this person's presence is chaotic and triggering to you, and with this relationship comes a lot of painful growth.
Can a karmic be a soulmate? Sure! It makes sense too when you consider that not all soulmates are meant to be in your life forever. The most important thing to remember about a karmic is that the relationship with them is one that you actively choose to be in- because when you break that cycle, it stops. You can get off this ride! It just involves doing the work, as learning the lesson means physically closing the door on them and what y'all had.
What about twin flames?
Twin flames; elusive, rare, two shared souls meant to come back to each other. How passionate...and the easiest way to justify a borderline toxic relationship for a spiritual connection and experience.
Spiritualists love the twin flame concept because it just sounds perfect on paper. Two separate beings, who are supposed to be each other's equal match, are forced to be on this journey where they work through separation to come back together because they are ~meant to be~. It romanticizes the idea that there is one true partner out there that shares the same soul with you, and that everything in between is meant to bring y'all closer. It introduces dynamics like the chaser and the runner, where one counterpart runs away from the connection because it's scary to commit, because they think they can do better, insert any other excuse an ex has used for dumping you- and the chaser being the person who cannot handle being single and does everything in their power to make that person come back. It's easy to sell products and readings and get tons of views off of targeting people who are heartbroken and lonely and want nothing more than a partner that fulfills that hole in them- and that's why the Twin flame concept is so big in spiritual spaces.
It sells. A lot. And people will eat it the fuck up because it resonates. It gives us an excuse to keep up the idea that the person we desperately want, is also meant to be with us, just because they tick off certain boxes.
They say that meeting a twin flame will feel like meeting someone you already know; that you'll see a lot of angel numbers and coincidences, all confirmation from the universe about this bond being different. And you know what, that can absolutely happen. I mean, that's what I felt with the boy I was in love with. That was the first time I felt like my soul was at home with someone.
I have no doubt that connection was special beyond any other one I've had so far. But clinging to the Twin flame concept is such a disservice because it puts all the focus on trying to get back with someone that ACTIVELY chooses not to be with you. And even those that encourage people more so to choose themselves in the process of dealing with your twin flame- it still subscribes to the idea that this will all end in you guys ending up together in the end!
Newsflash: sometimes we don't get what we truly want in the end. Sometimes, someone else's free will will decide another person is a better fit for them, no matter how intense the bond was between you and them. Sometimes the people that light that fire in you, that feel like home, will not be in your life forever. And to keep telling yourself to believe in something that will at times overlook or even encourage toxic mindsets and behaviors (like not letting go of a relationship!!) because this person ~shares your soul~ is just such a disservice to your own personal growth!
You are whole on your own. You do not need a half or a perfect match to feel fulfilled in this lifetime. Your journey is not any less special because you are not in a relationship with a twin flame- and honestly, you might be better off without a twin flame. How exhausting to think you have to do mind tricks and games after games to keep a connection up with someone who can just waltz in and out when they want to.
Am I biased? Perhaps. But I think it is such a shame that people place their spirituality and personal growth towards this warped idea that's built around making someone else stay, making someone else the focus of your personal journey.
My takeaway from any conversation about soulmates, karmic and twin flames always ends up the same: I enjoy and learn from people for as long as they stay in my life, and how long they stay depends on what they bring to my life. For those that left or are just on their way out, I've learned to appreciate the connection for what it was and for what it is- nothing more, nothing less. More importantly, I've learned that when you stop placing so much pressure on the titles for these connections and just focus on enjoying them, you'll realize you never really needed a soulmate or twin flame to enjoy your time here. They'll come along when it is time.